Unaffected by the Pandemic,Summer Came,the March of Time Goes On...
A father is… The query of a survey I put out to collect impressions, and further, what should a father be…
If we look back at evolution, we can see the changes in the way man’s life played out. The hunter and the hunted, ever on the move until the day when they began to set down roots that could only be sustained by moving towards domestication. From that history, we can see the conquerors among them, ravaging villages and taking away the men and boys to bolster their armies. Turning our eye back to the communities left ravaged, communities who depended on their men to protect them, we read their desperation; the anger felt for the men who failed them in the face of danger. They were judged for being weak.
Conditioned to be strong and trained to use their force; it’s been the march of ages. And an ensuing struggle for men to assume control over their anger, particularly when vented at those without the muscle for defense. Sometimes the anger is brought down on those they love. We’ve seen how male bravado has been played out in the movies and in comic books throughout history, and the devastating effects when left unchecked in the course of daily living.
In the novel Advent, we witness Sonia’s sons finding it difficult to accept a view of being male that's completely foreign to them. That Michael could fly jets, carry a gun and use a toilet brush with equal ease, is unsettling. And while Michael’s sensitive ways stood out among the many qualities that drew Sonia to him, when she sees his gentleness being perceived as weakness, she finds herself questioning the strength she saw in him.
So, not to hold back on the findings of the survey; the description of what a father is, varies. The qualities most desired were that that he be wise, strong, and sensitive. Not always an easy mix to keep in balance.
Today is a good day to express our gratitude for fathers who make the grade, and to show patience for the many who trip up; to let them know we see them trying and we love them for it.
Thankfully, in our time, viable supports exist for those in constant struggle with their emotions; supports they can be encouraged to reach out to, and can be accessed by those who love them, and/or those suffering at their hands.
This is a good day to take inventory, see where to lend a hand, and help the rusty wheel of change along. We’re on this planet together.
photo taken by Kim Crete